What to Expect During Your First Therapy Session: A Guide for New Clients
Starting therapy can feel like a big step. It can be filled with a mix of hope, curiosity, and perhaps a bit of nervousness. If you’re new to therapy, it’s completely natural to wonder what your first session will be like. Maybe you’ve imagined lying on a couch while someone silently takes notes, or that you are supposed “be” or “do” something in a certain way. The truth is, your first therapy session is mostly about building a foundation—getting to know each other and co-creating a supportive, trusting relationship. Here’s what you can expect and how to prepare, so you can walk in (or log in) with a little more confidence.
1. The Purpose of the First Session
Your initial therapy session is primarily about introductions. It’s a time for you and your therapist to get to know each other and begin building a working relationship. The therapist’s role is to ask questions to better understand your reasons for seeking therapy, your background, and what you hope to get out of the process. You’re not expected to know all the answers or have everything figured out; the goal is simply to start the conversation.
Therapists understand that clients often feel vulnerable at first, so they’ll typically work to create a warm, non-judgmental environment. You’re encouraged to go at your own pace. You don’t have to dive into your deepest secrets unless and until you feel ready. The therapist is there to guide the process, not to rush it.
2. It’s Okay to Be Nervous (or Unsure)
Feeling anxious before your first session is incredibly common. After all, you’re meeting someone new and talking about things that might feel difficult, confusing, or vulnerable. But keep in mind: therapists are trained to work with people who are feeling uncertain, emotional, or overwhelmed. You’re not expected to have it all together.
You can even tell your therapist that you’re feeling nervous—they’ll appreciate your authenticity, and it can help create a space where you begin to explore what it’s like to truly be yourself with someone. Therapy is one of the few places where you’re encouraged to show up fully as you are, no matter what that looks like on any given day. Within the therapeutic relationship, you have a unique opportunity to talk about interpersonal dynamics that you may not feel comfortable or able to explore in your everyday life and relationships.
3. Setting Boundaries and Expectations
Your therapist will likely explain how therapy works, including details like limits to confidentiality, appointment frequency, what to do if you need to cancel or reschedule. This is a great time for you to ask any questions you may have.
Therapy is a collaborative process, and your voice matters. If there’s something that makes you uncomfortable or a particular goal you want to work on, let the therapist know. Most therapists are comfortable hearing feedback and will welcome your input.
4. Don’t Pressure Yourself to Share Everything at Once
One common misconception is that you need to “lay it all out” in the first session. You are completely in control of what you choose to share, how you share it and when. Some people feel ready to dive into personal topics right away, while others need more time to build trust. What you decide is specific to you. There is no right or wrong way.
Think of therapy as a journey, not a single conversation. The first session is like meeting a guide who’s there to walk alongside you. You set the pace, and your therapist will support you as you take each step using their skills, experience and expertise to facilitate the session.
5. Pacing
Talking about your thoughts and feelings, especially if you haven’t done so in a while, can bring up things you weren’t expecting. Unlike everyday conversations where you might feel pressure to “get to the point,” therapy is unique as it involves paying attention to how you feel as you share. A seasoned therapist may gently pause the conversation to check in with you, offering a chance to slow down and connect with what’s coming up internally. You might realize that you need to take a breath, pause, or to move through the subject quickly. This gives you the opportunity to notice what feels supportive in the moment.
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6. Self-care after session
After a session, you may feel a little drained or emotional. Give yourself some grace and space afterward. Take a pause, stretch, or find a small way to help transition from therapy back into your day.
Some people leave their first session feeling hopeful or relieved. The process of therapy can be empowering and validating. However you feel after a session is your experience—and trusting that is an important step toward understanding your needs.
7. It’s Okay if It’s Not the Right Fit
Therapy is a personal experience, and the relationship between you and your therapist is key. Sometimes, even if a therapist is skilled and kind, you might not feel a connection—and that’s okay. It doesn’t mean therapy isn’t right for you; it just means that this particular match may not be the best fit.
If something doesn’t feel quite right after a few sessions, it’s perfectly acceptable to bring it up or even seek out a different therapist. You deserve to feel safe, heard, and supported in your therapeutic relationship. Most therapists understand this and won’t take it personally.
Final Thoughts
Beginning therapy is an act of courage and self-care. Your first session is just the beginning of what can become a powerful, transformative experience. It might feel a little intimidating, but it also holds the potential for healing, clarity, and growth. Remember that therapy is a space just for you—a place to explore, understand, and support yourself with the help of a trained professional.
Whether you’re struggling with anxiety, navigating a life change, or simply seeking a space to better understand yourself, therapy can be a valuable tool. The first session is your doorway into that process. Take a deep breath, be yourself, and know that you’re taking a meaningful step toward your mental and emotional well-being.
Take your first step and schedule your free 15 minute phone consultation.
Shohreh Schmuecker, LMFT
I offer a free 15 minute consultation to hear your needs and answer your questions. It’s important to feel comfortable with your therapist. Let's find out if we’re a good fit.
