Midlife Crisis: 5 Sets of Therapy-Based Questions to Explore
A midlife crisis doesn’t necessarily mean you are in crisis.
It can be an exploration of who you are and what you want. You are looking deeply within yourself to reflect on the years you have completed and are assessing what worked and what didn’t. Sometimes, questions around finding meaning and direction come up. There can be a wave of emotions around different aspects of your life. You may have the opportunity to explore a different set of choices that weren’t available to you before this stage of your life.
Reflecting on your life makes sense.
It is an opportunity to re-evaluate what is working for you at this point in your life and what is no longer serving you in the way it once did. There may be parts of you that have been waiting patiently for years for an opportunity to express themselves. Maybe you wanting to explore a hobby more but there was never time because you were parenting. Maybe your were specialized in your job and now want to pursue a different career. Or maybe you just would like a change.
Therapy can help
Having a therapist explore with you where you are today and all the feelings associated with it can give you an opportunity to process what was and what is. It can bring insight to your process. Here are some questions to consider (five aspects that you can explore while you are in midst of this process of midlife change) and how I can support you in therapy.
1. What do you value?
Think about what your values are and how they inform you in your life and in your relationships. These values may have guided you throughout your life. Once you recognize your values, you can think about how you would like to continue to be supported and guided with these values in mind and can help you clarify your needs.
Questions to Explore: Your Values
What are your values?
How do you know you find them valuable?
How do those values show up in your life?
Are there areas where you would like things to be more congruent with your values?
Have your values shifted as you have had more life experience?
In Therapy - Your Values
In our work together, we can explore what holds value for you, including in your relationships, looking at both your internal experience and what feels valuable to you in your relationship with the external world. We can explore how you would like to show up and have others to show up for you. We can bring to light the parts of you that may feel less valuable and worthy and the parts that feel confident and secure, helping you understanding what you need.
2. What do you find Meaningful?
Identifying what feels meaningful to you can bring insight into what resonates with you at this point in your life. The exploration of what you find meaningful can feel like an existential crisis. Sometimes what you find meaning in can bring up different emotions, feelings and memories that can bring about a deeper understanding of your needs and goals.
Question to Explore: Finding Meaning
What feels meaningful to you today?
What felt meaningful to you in the past?
Has this shifted through the years? How?
When you think about meaning in your life, what comes up for you?
In Therapy - Finding Meaning:
In our sessions together we can hold space for your process and inquiry around meaning. The therapy space can be a place that you can explore your feelings around existential elements that come up. Defining or redefining what feels meaningful to you can be a powerful tool in understanding your process.
3. Where Do You Feel Anchored in Your Life?
Consider places within yourself, in the world around you, or within your relationships, where you feel grounded and centered. To help clarify this, think about when you most felt like yourself, most centered, most calm. It can be one thing or a combination of things. You may find it is dependent on how you show up or what environment you are in. Whatever you discover, it will be specific to you. Once you find these places, it can be a tool to help you center from a more regulated place.
Questions to Explore: Feeling Anchored
What helps you to feel calm and secure?
How do you know that you feel calm and secure, is there a place in your body that you feel it? Does it have an energetic quality? Can you map it out that feeling in you so it becomes a place within you to return to?
Where externally do you feel secure and anchored? Is it in relationship or alone, is it in nature, is it when you are in motion, or somewhere else?
In Therapy - Feeling Anchored:
We can work together to help you to identify place within yourself that feel anchored and what kind of relationships, external dynamics, etc. most resonate with you. In session, I can support you in resourcing from this anchored place, particularly when you feel dysregulated or overwhelmed.
4. Exploring Your Hopes and Fears
When you think about what you want in life, do different hopes about the future come up with different fears? Taking time to turn towards the parts of you that are excited and the parts of you that feel afraid can help make sense of what you are feeling.
Question to Explore: Hopes and Fears
What are your hopes as you move into the transitions in your life?
Do you have fears that come up in relation to those hopes?
How does it feel to hope?
Do you worry about the next stages?
Are you excited for the next chapter?
Change can bring about worries and expectations. When you think about the possibilities what comes up for you?
In Therapy - Hopes and Fears:
In session, we can explore the different parts of you that come up as you think about what you want, and what might be holding you back. We can work together to make space for the complexities that come up, help you with polarized parts, and support a shift towards more balance.
5. Acknowledging Your Journey
Think about all that you have accomplished, navigated and experienced in your life and then consider how often you have allowed yourself to recognize that within yourself. Acknowledging your process can help you to reflect on growth, celebrate progress, and recognize the difficulties. This can be a helpful way to be with all that you have experienced.
Questions to Explore: Acknowledging Your Journey
When you look back on the years behind, what comes up?
Is it complex and layered?
Does an emotional feeling come up that is more consistent than others?
Does it feel like chapters in a book leading to your story?
What do you want to acknowledge about your experiences?
In Therapy - Acknowledging Your Journey:
When exploring this in session together, I will guide you to turn towards your experiences with acknowledgment and understanding. This can bring a richness and appreciation for the parts of you that have been working so hard and that have persevered.
Therapy for Midlife Crisis in California
Although the questions above can be a starting point to turn towards yourself, a skilled and trained therapist can help you understand and explore the complexities that make you you. If you find that you feel overwhelmed, anxious or confused by your process, therapy can help you to sort through and make sense of things. As an experienced therapist, I am skilled in supporting client’s process and can help you explore what comes up in relationship to life changes, including offering midlife crisis therapy.
As a California licensed psychotherapist, I offer online therapy for individuals in the San Francisco Bay Area and throughout California. Each person is unique in their experience and it can be helpful to have a therapist support you through your process of self growth and self discovery. Reach out today for your free phone consultation to see if I am a good fit to support you as you navigate life transitions and reflection on your midlife experience.
This blog is for general information purposes only. It is not meant for a substitution for medical or mental health advice or treatment. Please see a licensed professional for medical or mental health advice and/or recommendations specific to your needs.